Sadness Captured.

Take a look at this photo, what do you see?

I would cry so hard when I would look at it. I saw a dark moment in my past within this photo. And although no one else could see it I still felt the sadness captured. This is what my wounded feminine looked like. It would be months from that moment before I decided to listen my intuition. 

I remember the day this photo was taken, I forced a smile whilst inside I was screaming, feeling at my lowest, and lost. I wanted so desperately for someone to give me all the answers, I wanted God to lay out a perfectly detailed blueprint of how I should go about my life. I was torn in between my emotions. I was praying and meditating everyday. I had repressed my intuition because I didn’t like the answers she was giving me. She used to speak to me until one day I could no longer could hear her. Why? Because I was ignoring my truth, I thought there could be a different way. But I continued to suffer quietly. I just wanted so badly for everything around me to change. I wanted things to come together. I thought the more love I expressed, the more energy I poured out that it would be enough for these changes to occur. But I was hurting myself, I was losing myself, I was not respecting myself, I was blocking my inner voice, I was repressing my feminine, and thought I could play God. 

When that voice tells you it’s time to get up and walk away, LISTEN! Making that choice to walk away from everything you love and thought was your life hurts like f*&%ing hell. By shutting off your feminine power to keep others and everything happy and intact while you’re being swallowed up by a black hole and losing yourself little by little does not serve anyone. Expressing your feminine does not mean putting others before, its not loving so hard and forgiving the same things over and over again, it does not mean accepting what does not serve your highest good so that someone can live happily on your pain or saying yes when you want to say no. Find the strength within no matter how hard you want to hold onto that chapter in your life. You deserve happiness. You deserve to feel complete. You deserve to feel safe to be who you are. You deserve that same energy you pour out. 

We women have closed off our voices for far too long. We have allowed others to overstep boundaries, to speak to us in ways we should never accept, we have held so much bullshit. How can we ever step into our power if we afraid of what will come next. To awaken the feminine and heal our wombs we must use our fear to guide us into a new journey instead of it keeping us stuck in a place where we no longer belong. Let fear become your friend. Often we find ourselves at the bottom looking up with no hope before we choose to make that change. If you find yourself needing change or repressing your truth I invite you to scream out to God, spirits, ancestors, until you cant breath anymore. Take a deep breath as you exhale look at yourself in the mirror, take a hard look at yourself and remember you are so f*&%ing worthy and make the hardest yet the most loving choice you will make for YOU!